I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
