do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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