The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
