There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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