I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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