It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I woke up under a house in Key West
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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