toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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