so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
