As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
literally had 100 drinks last night.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
