He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
do nipples grow back?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
