I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
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he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
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It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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