just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
