Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I smell like Dick and happiness
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
