was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
