Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize