I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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