i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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