Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
