I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
