im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
