I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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