We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
