Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
