An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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