i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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