Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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