I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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