I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
