Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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