he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Randomize
