my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize