____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
