Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
