I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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