We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
