Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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