return my video game
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
