I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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