This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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