i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
