chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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