rhymes with "ouble enetration"
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
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