Dual....:-)
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
