Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
