Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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