you turned your livingroom into a bong?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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