You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
