theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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