Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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