creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
