I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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