How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
