Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
