Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
