He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
the gays at disneyland are vicious
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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