Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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