Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
