This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
