You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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